“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not quite, the not yet, the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.” – Ayn Rand
At this point, what legitimate, compelling, and beneficial reason is there for you to continue watching porn?
Don’t worry, I’ll wait…
Would you convince your family or children to firmly believe in these reasons to why you watch porn?
Would you give a commencement speech at your local university on this?
Look, at some point there must be a confession: “I’m addicted to porn and I’m serious about quitting and I never want to go back!”
Just because it’s socially accepted amongst other males and the rest of society to masturbate to porn doesn’t mean you should latch onto the majority opinion… for anything actually.
A critical factor that will dictate your success at quitting masturbation and porn use is your ability to get away from your computer and into the real world. If you spend a lot of time on a computer or at home alone, then chances are you will easily succumb to the desires of porn again.
I want you to have a real social life engaging with men and women regularly versus having a healthy digital life filled with social media and porn.
When you first start Stage 1, reduce Internet usage for the first 30 days. Embark into the real world and explore more of life.
What were the hobbies and passions you used to enjoy or would like to start? Go to trendy coffee shops and read books, walk through parks, hiking, runs, gyms, martial arts, yoga classes, farmers markets, toastmasters speaking clubs, comedy clubs, improv clubs, learn to play the guitar or piano, art galleries, the beach, nearby historical landmarks, try different types of cuisines, cooking classes, travel – well, you get the idea: go do things outside in the real world more often.
Join meetup.com and add 25 different interest groups to your account and make it an effort to join at least 1 or 2 meetups per week. Become the interesting well-rounded type of grounded man that you’ve always wanted to become. How else could you better spend your time?
- Put it simply, go enjoy real life not a digital life.
- Identify what matters most to you:
- What are the top 5 things that matter most to me in my life?
- What personal goals do I want to achieve?
- What are the values I believe and want to uphold?
- Who is most important to me in my life and how do I want to treat him/her?
- What personal traits do I want to convey to others?
- How would I like to contribute to the lives of people I care about?
- How would I like to contribute to my community and society?
- In what ways does porn use conflict with my values, beliefs, and life goals?
- How much time have you really wasted watching porn? 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?
You could have earned a black belt in a martial art, mastered an instrument, built a 7-figure business, improved your dating life, found the woman of your dreams, or fallen even more in love with your existing partner. All in all, you could have spent that time more wisely mastering some valuable skill set that would have benefited you today and made you a more grounded man.
You create the life you want with the habits you develop.
Get social. Go out. Build and have real relationships. Go into hobbies. Meetups. Travel. Go on adventures. Reach out to old friends and family. Plan trips. Take a lead role in your life and don’t be a bystander of circumstance.
A healthy sex life improves the quality of your life, unlike the quick fix you get with porn. Porn does not have any long-term benefits, just long-term emotional and psychological costs that aren’t even fully understood since it’s a new phenomenon.
This is it.