“Most of the people who join the porn industry come from broken homes. Many of the girls are sexually abused. So the porn industry actually lures in these kinds of people to exploit them. So basically when someone is watching pornography, what you’re really doing is contributing to the demise and destruction of adult survivors of sexual child abuse who are on drugs and have physical disease. That’s really what you’re watching because I promise you, nobody in that industry is healthy.” – Shelley Lubben, Former Pornstar
The more porn we watch, the more of an obsession we develop looking at women as objects to be fucked rather than interacting with women as the beautiful, intellectual, unique individuals they are.
Dr. James B. Weaver stated before the U.S. Senate in 2004, “In men, prolonged exposure to pornography creates and enhances sexual callousness toward women. Porn results in both a loss of respect for female sexual autonomy and the disinhibition of men in the expression of aggression against women.”
Women are soon objectified and rated solely by size, shape, and hip-to-weight ratio, which destroys any type of emotional availability and real connection with a woman.
Men feel this strong need to validate their masculinity by how physically beautiful their woman is regardless of her values. This gives the idea that women are trophies or collectibles to show the world who a man is. And by watching porn, they only reinforce the idea that women’s bodies are trophies and objects.
Women become objectified when you look at women as sex objects and view marriage or being in an official relationship as a license for unlimited sex. Every woman becomes a fantasy in your head, sometimes instantly. You can always tell when a man is addicted to porn simply by how he looks at a woman. The way he stares at her physical features, the way he talks at her instead of with her. The way he tries to get something from her instead of building something with her.
Frequent porn use brings about the fear of deep intimacy with women and even social friendships. Men have developed an inability to relate with women in an honest, authentic, and intimate way despite being very lonely and yearning for this level of deeper connection inside. All in all, this happens because porn overpowers a man’s needs over deeply intimate connections in their relationships.
Have you ever heard a woman say, “You’re emotionally unavailable,” or she checked out of the relationship even though you met all of her needs on paper (house, car, good job, friends, family)? This is exactly what this means. Bottom line: If you want to have a deep long lasting connection with a woman, then you have got stop and or significantly reduce your porn use and masturbation.
Additionally, men who watch porn like to isolate themselves as they prefer a plethora of virtual women over interacting with a real woman. It’s easier and less stressful in the short term. Escaping the responsibilities of being a normal human being with friends and women is exactly what it means to lose your soul.
You’re losing your humanity actually.
Boys grow up inundated with messages from porn that objectify women’s bodies and depict women as sex objects who solely exist for male stimulation and pleasure. For many men, they don’t understand that what they’re doing is wrong since they’ve been programmed this way for decades by porn and mainstream media’s acceptance of sex culture.
If you respond to sexual triggers by turning to porn, then you’ve taught your brain to expect overstimulation whenever those triggers happen. Any sexual trigger now causes a much stronger reaction than the trigger should call for.
The more porn you watch, the more triggers it places in your mind until everything reminds you of sex. When you see high heels, lip stick, a skirt, a cheerleader outfit, or a girl bending over to tie her shoe, you think about porn, sending you down a spiral of fantasy and horniness tempting you to watch more porn.
Depression and dopamine desensitization affect the part of your brain responsible for selecting what to pay attention to. When only porn and things related to porn can muster a strong dopamine response, triggers unrelated to pornography are considered less important.
If you spend one hour per day watching porn, then you may interact more with women virtually than you do in the real world, making it harder for you to connect with women.
For instance, when you’re looking at women you concentrate and stare at her breasts, lips, and buttocks. You anticipate her to take her clothes off, you fantasize about her moaning and pay no attention to what’s going on, and you’re not present at all – you’re in your head playing a sexual fantasy. And she’s looking at you like “what the f&%# is this guy doing?”
What’s more, men believe they should make love like a pornstar. Porn is a performance, an act, not an emotional intimate connection to cherish. Porn gives you what you want, but also makes you want things you never thought you’d want before.
And when you do interact with a woman, it’s in a sexual way or at least you want it to be in a sexual way. This can leave you powerless where sexual impulses control your life, fantasies pop up all of the time, and there’s nothing you can do other than let them play out and try to act normally and respectfully.
This changes how you communicate with women in the real world and often in a negative way that doesn’t serve what you truly want: a fulfilling and loving relationship with a woman. For example, when a woman is telling you about her day, you’re fantasizing about turning her around and throwing her up against the wall, hearing her scream your name, and cumming on her face.
The woman might not know that you’re having hyper sexual thoughts, but she senses something’s not right. This sensation can make her feel uncomfortable just being around you, preventing you from becoming a friend, professional contact, or even romantic partner.
All in all, porn decreases the quality of your relationships with women in the real world. To achieve the same level of sexual arousal with a woman, you need your sex to become more extreme – more like porn. Partners of compulsive porn users often complain that their partners need increasingly risky, violent, and degrading sexual acts to get off. This puts your partner in a tough position: Do they accept this behavior in fear of losing you or stand up and also lose you?
This situation forces the woman to make choices she doesn’t want to make. She feels second to your sexual desire and wonders if you are really into her or you just are using her as an outlet to gratify your sexual fantasies. She may wonder, is she your fuck toy or your lover?
When real sex with real partners becomes less interesting, it forces you to go back to porn because you can get what you want. And porn not only damages your views of women but equally has a negative effect on yourself as a man and here’s why…